When it comes time to celebrate a wedding, the Italians go all out with festivities that begin with a morning mass and end with a reception that often goes well into the next day. But beyond the general merriment surrounding the occasion, it is extremely hard to pin down a certain custom as uniquely Italian.
“Everything depends on which part of Italy the bride and groom are from,” says Ruchira Roy-Orsi, a financial consultant from Rome who recently married into another Italian family. “What happens in one area might not take place in another town a few miles north.”
In general, couples who wed in the North tend to have more intimate ceremonies and receptions that take place in the afternoon. Southern couples tend to incorporate more of the traditional customs into the event, and will often have lavish receptions with a long guest list.
Here is a sampling of traditions from all over the country:
The serenade. It is common for the man to serenade the woman before he proposes marriage to her. He either performs the serenade himself or enlists the help of his musically-inclined friends. Often he will ask her father for his daughter’s hand in marriage before proposing to her.
The engagement ring. The traditional diamond engagement ring is as popular in Italy as it is in the United States. Medieval Italians presented their loved ones with diamond rings because they felt that the jewel was born out of the flames of love. The most common ring has diamonds encircling the piece, to symbolize the eternity of love.
The bridal shower. The Italian bridal shower comes from the old tradition of the bride packing her trousseau on her wedding day. The trousseau would contain items like household items and clothing, and today these things are gifted to the bride during the shower.
Bachelor/ bachelorette party. Most Italians, particularly those who live in the southern part of Italy, do not have a bachelor or bachelorette party. But in modern times this tradition has become more popular, and the event is often celebrated at a restaurant, club, or other special venue.
The night before the wedding. The bride wears green the night before the wedding, in order to bring good luck to her and her husband. It is bad luck, however, to wear gold until she is officially married.
The wedding day. Sundays are the luckiest days to get married, unless the Sunday falls during Lent or Advent, or on a day in May or August. May is reserved for the Virgin Mary, and getting married in August was thought to bring bad luck.
The bride and groom’s clothing. The bride follows the tradition of wearing something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. The groom is not allowed to wear short socks or a tuxedo, and instead wears a tailcoat, a silk top cat, gloves, cufflinks, black or dark gray dress socks, and a boutonniere.
Walking to the church. In Veneto, the couple walks to the chapel together, and different things are placed in the bride and groom to see what sort of life they will lead together. If a broom is placed in front of the bride and she picks it up, then she will be a good housekeeper. Some couples are asked to saw a piece of wood together to show how they will cooperate as a married couple.
The ribbon. Some chapels tie a ribbon in front of the building to symbolize the impending bond between the bride and groom.
The flowers. In Northern Italy, it is up to the groom to provide the flowers—the varietals and colors of the flowers are a surprise to the bride. In these areas, the groom waits for the bride in the front of the church, holding the bride’s bouquet.
The veil. The bride wears a traditional veil to spare her from evil spirits. It is especially good luck to tear the veil.
The ceremony. The priest leads a traditional Catholic mass, but the bride and groom often tailor the service to their specifications by picking out the scripture readings. The priest meets with the couple on several occasions to get to know them and counsel them through their engagement, so he knows them well by the time of the wedding. There are usually no bridesmaids or groomsmen during the service, but rather a witness from each side of the family.
The wedding rings. The classic Italian wedding band is slightly rounded and made of gold, silver, or the trendy platinum. Most couples engrave their names on the inside of the bands.
The iron. According to Italian folklore, the groom must carry a piece of iron in his pocket on his wedding day, in order to avoid the evil that might be tempted to visit him on day of happiness.
Confetti. Almonds covered in a candy coating are placed in bags in odd numbers. The bags are then tossed at the couple in a gesture of fertility.
Food. At the reception, the guests are served sweet liquor by the best man and toast the bride and groom “per cent’anni”—for a hundred years. Guests are sometimes served up to 14 courses, which often include fried dough with powdered sugar, a dish that symbolizes fertility. At the end of the feast, the wedding cake is served with espresso.
The groom. At some Italian wedding receptions, the groom dresses up in an apron and serves the guests champagne. To humiliate him further, all of his friends try to steal a kiss from the bride.
The money purse. The bride carries a bag in which guests place envelopes filled with money to help defer the costs of the wedding. The bag is often guarded by the bride’s grandmother.
The tarantella. Guests will often dance the tarantella at the reception. Legend has it that people who were bitten by the poisonous tarantula spider would fall into a trance and could only be cured by music and dance. In truth, the tarantula’s bite is not actually poisonous, but the dance has endured and is now played at nearly every Italian wedding reception.
Breaking the glass. Before the end of the reception, the bride and room step on a glass, and the number of shattered pieces represents the number of happy years of marriage the couple will share together. At some weddings, a pair of doves is released into the air at this time.
More toasts. A male guest will often toast the newlyweds with “Evviva gli sposi,” which means, “Congratulations to the newlyweds;” and the guests applaud. The guests will also call for the bride and groom to kiss and display their affection for each other in front of the entire reception.
The wedding night. For good luck, the newlywed’s bed is made by a virgin.
The honeymoon. Traditionally, the couple would leave for their honeymoon on the night of their wedding, but these days they typically start the trip one or two days after the event. Foreign destinations are popular, but many couples choose to explore their own country by vacationing in Florence, Rome, or Venice.
Sources: VirtualItalia.com, Ruchira Roy-Orsi, WorldWeddingTraditions.com, ItaliansRUs.com
