When Colleen Danielian, a 37 year-old Human Resources professional, and Roy Seland, a 39 year-old attorney, were married on March 3, 2007 in Goshen, New York, their traditional wedding sprang from the new trend of having a ‘destination wedding’ without flying to the islands. Their choice of location two hours away gave all of their 130 guests an easy escape to a gorgeous setting and the celebration of a lifetime. Colleen says their wedding plans “fit our personalities. We considered our families,” and they brought in several special touches to pay tribute to their backgrounds. Here is their wedding story:

Why We Chose Our Wedding Locations:

“We opened up our search area as our families and friends were not located in the same vicinity.  As such, we searched areas that we thought would be beautiful and, hopefully, less expensive than Manhattan.  After much internet searching, I found Round Hill in Washingtonville, NY.  It seemed to be everything we were looking for, it met our criteria.  After we visited the space, we knew that was IT. This site was run by caterers who purchased a mansion to host venues, which was perfect because we were hoping for decent food. And it was.  The space was cozy, yet beautiful, spotted with fireplaces – perfect for a March 3 wedding.  We met with the partner-manager, the partner-chef, and our host to be.  All were accommodating & professional, which was key, and we also liked them -- which we thought important, too.  So, the wedding location was driven, basically, by the wonderful venue.  There was nothing wedding factory-like about this place.  The only question was: can we ask our families from Long Island, South Jersey, etc., to drive two hours to our wedding? It was a sacrifice for these individuals, but we thought it would work and that people would be willing to go the distance for us.  It actually turned into a ‘destination’ type wedding without everyone needing to jump on a plane.  As most of the guests were not familiar with the area, I disseminated via our website all kinds of activities which our guests could do in the area. Since Roy & I graduated from the same college over 17 years ago, our wedding had dual purpose as a college reunion.  So, people enjoyed hanging out together after the reception at the hotel.

“We found the church -- St. James’ Episcopal -- 15 minutes from the venue, right off the highway.  Its style was gothic, with beautiful stained glass. And it was small.  This created the intimate, yet reverential feeling we wanted.  It seemed to be ‘us’.”

“His primary role was to make me feel adored and make me feel like a ‘bride’ throughout the process. His secondary role was of moral support and keeping us to our vision. In addition to this, he made the final selections with me on the invite list, reception, church, special songs, hotels, and big registered items.  We also spent a bit of time discussing our desires for the ceremony. He provided some of the scripture to be read and who would be involved with the service.  We listened to many classical pieces and hymns together, picking ones that were not only beautiful but were in keeping with the gothic atmosphere of the church. He also found the Reception Entrance song: Armenian Wedding, which was very appropriate as my Father is Armenian. It also happened to be a rousing, fun song to start the ‘party’. That find scored a BIG kiss!”

The Wedding Dress Search:

“Two weeks after my engagement – which took place in the west coast of Norway on a famous cliff named Pulpit Rock – I visited an old college buddy who spontaneously suggested that we look for my wedding dress together that day.  These types of high-impact decisions -- where there are so very many options -- are usually overwhelming for me, so I was happy to have a friend present, especially one who was decisive and honest. I tried on 30 dresses in all.  When I pulled on ‘the one’ I immediately felt like a bride (unlike with the other options). The dress style was slightly Celtic, romantic and traditional. My girlfriend, who is not usually swayed by emotion, also felt the impact of my impending marriage when I tried on this particular dress.  So, I took it home. Wonderfully, I had been present when this girlfriend selected her wedding dress 10 years prior.” 

What the Bridesmaids Wore:

Colleen’s bridesmaids wore soft, sage-colored flowing dresses. “The color seemed appropriate for an early spring wedding. Our wedding date also happened to fall in the month of St. Patrick’s Day; so we chose that color in tribute to my Dublin Mom.” Colleen had one particular challenge to find the right dresses since one of her bridesmaids would be 8.5 month’s pregnant as she walked down the aisle. “After looking quite a bit for a non-bridesmaid dress that could ‘work’ with her shape, we opted for a dress from a maternity line.”

What the Men Wore:

“Roy’s younger brother got married a few months prior, and since the groomsmen were essentially the same crew, we used the same dark sharp suits purchased for that wedding and then purchased some new complementary ties. The groom wore a tie of slightly different shade. The suits made for a bit less formal look -- which we liked -- and saved us on effort and money.”

Our Bridal Party:

Colleen names her bridal party: “My bridesmaids were my 3 younger sisters. My flowergirl was my new brother-in-law’s daughter, and the groomsmen were Roy’s best friend and Roy’s two brothers.”

Words We’d Use to Describe Our Wedding:

Our Ceremony: “Spiritual, symbolic, deeply meaningful, intimate, romantic”
Our Reception: “Joyous, a celebration, intimate, country-sophisticate”

Our Reception Menu:

“I’ve never encountered rib-eye as a wedding reception menu option before.  When our caterers mentioned it could be a selection, we jumped on it. The Irish fat-loving contingent in our party loved it.  The Irish also loved the potato leek soup option. Both items were delicious (and I’ve been called a food-snob!).”

Our Cake:

“As we were not offering any other dessert option other than the cake, I decided to expand the guests’ options by offering an elegant 3-tiered round cake with one Chocolate Layer with Chocolate Ganache Filling, one White Layer with Strawberry Filling, and one White Layer with Chocolate Mousse Filling.”

The Centerpieces:

“The reception room had a lot of beautiful colors in it so I decided to go with simple glass bowl arrangements of ivory calla lilies surrounded by small candles. Some of the women at the tables ended up taking a calla lily to-go at the end of the night.”

The Favors:

“We skipped the favors,” says Colleen. “When considering all that was needed to be done and purchased for the wedding, I knew that I should cut some efforts out. I chose to cut out the favor as I didn’t that it added much value to the evening and to what we considered most important. I thought that no one really wants to carry this often-times disposable trinket home at the end of the night unless it was quite special. Crafts are not my gift, so I scratched it from my to-do list and it felt great.”
 
Our First Dance Song:

Stevie Wonder’s ‘As.’ “It was funky, yet inspiring and beautiful.  We vacillated on this decision for a bit.  We ended up being very happy with the feel it gave at the wedding.”

My Favorite Part of the Wedding:

“The ceremony.  Feeling the weight, beauty and significance of the marriage union and experiencing the support & joy of all the people that we love.”

The Most Unique Thing About Our Wedding:

“We had four pastors as guests. Didn’t have any problem finding someone to pray over the meals!”

Our Favorite Photo:

“Our favorite photo is a close up of Roy kissing me on the cheek while my eyes were closed.  We liked it best as it showed the love and appreciation felt on that day.  Our photographer was excellent.  He creatively captured the love, joy, energy and intimacy of the day.  I had allowed all my guests to view the wedding slideshow he created for us.  I was fielding emails for a week on how brilliant his work was,” says Colleen.  Photographs from Collen and Roy's wedding were taken by professional photographer G.E. Masana. 

Additional Wedding Details:

When reviewing the guest list, Colleen and Roy realized that their guests distinctly fell into 2 categories: those who love to dance and those who love to talk. So, says Colleen, “We were very excited to find a venue that did not have the dance floor smack in the middle of the seating area. Instead, it was located adjacent to the dining room through sets of open French doors.  The guests shared how they loved to be able to carry good conversation with friends they had not seen in ages and the dancers were happy with how they could get on and off the dance floor with ease. 

“Music was important to us so I spent a bit of time pulling together a ‘play list’.  I also created the cocktail hour CD which was played through the venue’s sound system. This saved me money as I did not have to hire a DJ during the cocktail hour.

“Another cost saver was to use the same flowers for the church and venue.  I assigned one of the ushers to bring the altar flowers to the venue to be used on the mantles and in the restrooms.  This was done before the guests arrived at the venue, of course.”

“We went to Costa Rica – a special place. Within a few hours of landing we felt completely relaxed and were able to fully enjoy the 10 days planned. Although we kept ourselves busy with all sorts of outdoor adventures, we felt refreshed all the while.  Perhaps it was all that oxygen from the rainforests and all the hospitable and friendly Costa Ricans we encountered.  Our favorite experience was driving our rented car through the verdant rolling countryside, stopping off for the odd mango along the way.”

Colleen’s Advice For You:

“Before you start running around trying to make it all ‘happen’, envision how you want to celebrate your marriage with your fiancé. What is your ‘heart’ about the wedding? What tone do you want to create?  What do you want your guests to experience? Make sure that your decisions are in line with the agreed upon vision.

“I think getting the perspective right is vital. Always keep in the forefront of your mind the reason that you are going through the planning process: to be married and to share the joy of it with those you love.

“Bring your mind back to the fact that this is, at its source, a celebration. And, that you CHOSE to do it and are in charge (for the most part) of the process and how you navigate through it.

“Every once in a while, when I would become stressed, I would think about the people I was inviting and how I loved them. I would think about what would make them happy. This would inspire me as, if it was only for myself and about me, I wouldn’t have been as calm and energetic about the process.  In a strange way, caring for my guests seemed to alleviate the negative pressure to please people.”

Colleen’s Practical Pointers:

* “Stay organized. I maintained a big white geeky binder with colored tabs. This limits stress.”
* “Choose the right church and reception venue.”
* “Assign tasks for bridal party the day of and the morning after.  You will be mentally and emotionally exhausted and will need this help greatly.”
* “Be honest with your vendors about your financial limitations, your wishes, etc.”
* “Build relationships with your vendors. Consider your vendors as people – not just those that can help you get to your goal. You, and they, will enjoy the process so much more.”
* “Be thankful. Thankful for your spouse to be and thankful to your family and your friends as they guide you, help you, encourage you.”
* “Say ‘it’s not a problem’ whenever you feel any anxiety.”
* “Don’t sweat the small stuff.  It will be lovely!”

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