What it is: A bridal luncheon, also often called a “bridesmaids’ luncheon” or “bridal tea” is a party thrown in honor of the bridesmaids. The bride hosts the meal as a way of saying “thank you” to all her ’maids. She often uses the event as an opportunity to present them each with a thank-you gift as well. Though the luncheon is all about giving thanks, they also give all the bridesmaids – particularly those who may live out of town or not know each other very well – the opportunity to get to know each other better before the big day. Bridal luncheons are not required events and, in fact, there are regions of the country in which they are rare. If you choose not to host a bridal luncheon you can simply present your attendants with their thank-you gifts at the rehearsal dinner.
 
How they’ve changed: Historically, the bridal luncheon was an informal gathering that took place the day before the wedding. The bride would simply invite her bridesmaids to have lunch or tea with her – no big fuss, no major party preparations. These days, the luncheons can take place anywhere and at any time. Often they’re not luncheons at all. They can be beach bashes, formal dinners, picnics in the park or just about anything you can imagine. 

Who hosts: The bride. Often the bride’s mom will co-host.

Who's invited: All of the bridesmaids must be invited. Some brides choose to also invite other women who have played an important role in helping them with their day. For instance, perhaps your pregnant best friend decided not to be in the wedding, but she spent countless hours helping you pick out a dress. She certainly deserves an invitation and a special thank you. But keep the guest list small. Bridal luncheons are meant to be intimate gatherings and will lose their meaning if you invite too many people.

When it takes place: As we mentioned before, bridal luncheons were traditionally informal gatherings thrown the day before the wedding. These days, however, it’s not uncommon to have the event as much as two weeks before the wedding.

Where it takes place: For low-key affairs, the brides’ -- or her parents’ – home is a great location for a light lunch or a tea party. For something more extravagant, a restaurant is the perfect locale. Some brides like to do something a bit more interactive. Treating the girls to spa treatments is one popular outing – they can all chat while getting pedicures for the big day. Or take them all to a ball game or bowling alley or whatever suits your style.

What to serve: This can vary depending on the time and location of the event. Tiny finger sandwiches, mini muffins and scones with jam are great treats to serve at a tea. Try a heartier meal if you’re hosting a luncheon or dinner. A variety of cheeses would be divine at a wine-tasting party.

What to expect: Whether the party will be laid-back or lavish, bridal luncheon attendees can expect a small gathering. There will not be very many women in attendance and they can all expect to have the opportunity to really get to know any bridal party members they aren’t already acquainted with. (Even though they’ve most likely met before at the shower or dress fittings, the bridal luncheon usually gives them even more of an opportunity to mingle.) Guests at a bridal luncheon should not bring gifts. They should, instead, be prepared to receive a gift of thanks from the bride. Keep in mind that some bridal luncheons, especially the more extravagant ones, are themselves the gifts. For instance, if the bride takes everyone out for manicures and pedicures, the beauty service itself is most likely the gift. 

At most bridal luncheons the traditional bridesmaids’ cake will be served. The cake is usually frosted in pink and contains one or several charms. There is always one special charm (shaped like a ring, thimble or coin) and baked into the cake or placed between layers of the cake. The bridesmaid who ends up with the slice of cake with the special charm in it is predicted to be the next to marry – or at least to be “blessed with affairs of the heart.” Sometimes brides will choose to put a charm in each slice. Only one will hold the special charm, but other charms will make predictions of their own. For instance, maybe a small diaper pin charm would predict that the stork will soon visit that bridesmaid. If some of the bridesmaids are single and others are married, you can find a way mark the cake so that each ’maid gets a fortune-telling charm that is appropriate for her situation.
                                                                 
How to personalize: Here are a few fun ways to add to the bridal luncheon fun by including personal details.

-Games: For a fun ice-breaker, place a card at each guest’s plate asking her to tell a story about the history of your relationship with her. For instance, one ’maid’s card can say: “Tell an embarrassing story about the bride.” Another might read: “At what moment did you know that the bride was a true friend?” Or, “What’s the most fun you ever had hanging out with the bride?” Each bridesmaid can tell her story to the whole table of attendants.

-Themes: Let the theme of the event say something about your relationship with the girls attending.  If your bridal party is all family members, have a “family tree” party where each bridesmaid is asked to bring photos of family members, trying to go back as far as they can. You can display your family tree at the event and add the photos to your tree when the girls arrive. This is especially fun if the bridesmaids are from both your and your fiance’s families because the tree will show off how the upcoming union will add to your family tree. (Skip this idea if any attendants are not family members, as they will feel left out.). If each bridal party member attended school with you, have a party that pays tribute to your alma mater in some way. Perhaps a menu filled with your favorite treats from the dining hall or a color scheme to match your school’s colors. Or the party can be held at a school athletic event – take everyone to a football game on campus, for instance.

-Cake: For a personal twist on the traditional charm bridesmaids’ cake, have it iced in a color other than the tried-and-true pink. If you just love the color blue, there’s no one stopping you from having a blue bridesmaids’ cake. You can also rig the fortune-telling charms to be specific to each bridesmaid.  You can have your engaged friend get the ring trinket, your pregnant friend can get a charm shaped like a baby or a stork, and your soon-to-graduate friend can get a teeny-tiny graduation cap.