Reasons to have an at-home wedding:

• Planning an at-home ceremony and reception saves you a ton of time – you don’t have to deal with finding an ‘available’ date at both a ceremony site and a reception site. Your home (or the home of a relative, should they offer their beach house, mountain home, or gorgeous estate) is available on the big day.

• You’ll also avoid the kinds of restrictions and requirements that many official wedding sites have: for instance, at some churches, you’re not allowed to take flash photography, and the site might actually restrict the kind of music or readings you can include in your ceremony. At some reception sites, they might have rules about not staking tents into their grounds for an outdoor reception. At your home, you’re the boss. You make your own rules.

• That’s the big selling point of at-home weddings right now – freedom to create your day exactly as you wish. Sure, it might take a bit of extra work finding a great caterer to come to your home, hiring bartenders, etc, but you’ll find that you’re not dealing with as many restrictions, and you can make every decision on your own. With today’s weddings being so personalized, this is a top choice among many couples who want things ‘just so’ for their big day.

• At-home weddings are a winning idea for couples who don’t want to wait 14 months between engagement and the wedding date. For a less than 6 month timeframe, the at-home wedding could be your best choice – no looking for the few wedding sites with availabilities.

• If your guest list will be on the small side, an intimate wedding with the closest of your family and friends, your home could be the ideal setting. No big tents needed, perhaps even no big rental order.

• Today’s wedding couples are looking for unique wedding celebration ideas, something different from everyone else’s wedding. So it might have occurred to you to have a brunch or a dessert and champagne only reception -–two stylish, classy choices that are gaining in popularity right now – or a more casual celebration by the pool. These new wedding styles call for an intimate setting, and your home could be the perfect place.

• Couples and experts say that at-home weddings are incredibly meaningful – they add a beautiful set of new memories to your already cherished memories of home. For instance, the bride who walks down a staircase to her ceremony processional might have wonderful memories of sliding down than banister when she was a little girl. Her parents will undoubtedly hold those memories as well. Weddings at home bring even more magic into the home itself, and that warmth and sentimentality stays within those walls. Every time you pass by that staircase, for instance, you’ll remember your wedding day.

• The design of your home can create just the perfect setting for your wedding wishes. You might hold the ceremony in your front yard, then move onto your terrace for cocktails, the move into the tented backyard for the reception. So many couples say, to quote The Wizard of Oz, “There’s no place like home” when it comes to using the already-there special features like a terrific poolside area, your groom’s perfectly manicured landscaping, your grandmother’s peach tree, your mom’s rosebushes. These touches of home bring great sentimentality to the day. And in some cases, they also bring in memories and ‘spiritual inclusion’ of departed family members. For example, let’s say that your beloved grandmother passed away years ago, but her peach tree is still growing in the back yard. If you can take your vows under that peach tree, you and your guests will love that she is a part of the day, in spirit. That’s the kind of family sentimentality you can treasure in at-home wedding plans.

Financial Tips:

• When you plan an at-home wedding for the ceremony right through to the reception, you eliminate the vast majority of your transportation expenses (i.e. hiring limousines to take you, the family, and the bridal party from site to site to site) That can add up to thousands of dollars saved.

• But be sure to factor in the extra rental expenses that you wouldn’t have at an official wedding site. You’ll undoubtedly need to rent plates, glasses, tables, linens, chairs and especially tents for outdoor events. Depending on how large a wedding you will host at home, these expenses could add up.

• Always rent a tent if you’ll have any portion of the wedding outside. Get a quality tent, and look into today’s models’ special features like clear ceilings for a view of the stars, breezeways, terrific fabric linings, secure flooring, etc.

• Pay attention to the space your caterer will need to create and plate all of his or her food options. You might think your kitchen is enough space, but be aware that caterers’ platters are oversized, special to cooking industry refrigerators and ovens. Be sure to have your caterer come to your site to assess for working space before the big day. And don’t be surprised – as will most often be the case – if your caterer’s space needs require you to rent an extra tent where he or she can work magic with the menu in unoccupied space, private from the view of your guests. This extra expense is very much worth the tent rental money, as the hard labor of creating your meals and buffet items very much should go on behind the scenes. Your caterer will have a staff as well, so plenty of prep-work space will be needed.

• Decorations might be minimal, depending on your at-home site. Your backyard garden or pool area might be ideal with very little extra adornment. This is your home, not a blank canvas room that needs to be filled with mountains of roses and floral arrangements. Many at-home wedding couples found that their floral bills were lower than their friends’ bills, because they were starting with an already gorgeous site.

• At-home weddings also call in the use of items you own. Like framed family pictures, candelabras and pillar candles, the use of your own fireplace for winter warmth and charm.

• Hire a professional cleaning service. You might choose to hire them before the wedding to get the entire place in tip-top shape without you having to worry about it. But definitely invest in the professional cleaning service afterward. You might be surprised at the mess left behind even the most elegant and beautiful wedding. You’ve all worked hard to create the wedding, now let someone else handle the cleanup.

Hints for your home:

• Some guests will be familiar with your home, and will know where the restrooms are, and others will not. So avoid any confusion (and guests wandering through your bedroom areas) by hanging a pretty homemade sign on the bathroom doors for easy location.

• Avoid putting anyone on ‘toilet paper duty’ by setting out a pretty woven basket filled with rolls of toilet paper. You’ll be surprised how quickly your guests will use it all. And this avoids your having to worry or stop dancing because someone taps you on the shoulder with a ‘you’re out of toilet paper’ request.

• Stock plenty of pretty paper hand towels (called ‘guest towels’) by the sink so that everyone’s not using the one cloth towel on the bar by the sink. You can get these very inexpensively at Bed, Bath and Beyond or other home stores.

• Lock bedrooms and the basement that you want guests to avoid. If you wish, you can hang a ‘Private’ sign on each.

• Set out plenty of family photographs and portraits, perhaps of family weddings and relatives, as free and impressive sentimental décor.

• Borrow a friend’s portable freezer unit to store extra ice cubes. Your caterer might bring his or her own, but this is a worthy thing to borrow.

• When talking to your caterer, baker and any bartender services you hire – and always choose great experts to handle the intricacies of parties – be sure to let them know it’s an at-home wedding, and ask for advice on menu choices to suit the formality, season and weather for your day.

• Ease the traffic through your kitchen by setting out plenty of pitchers of ice water, iced tea and other soft drinks on each guest table.

• Set your own CD player to run the five or so CDs you’ve chosen for your wedding music. You might not have to find a place for a band in your yard if you can spin your own music. Some couples create their own custom music mixes, and then just set the machine to play, and repeat. You’ll use the ceremony music CD for your ceremony, then a jazz CD for the cocktail hour, then fun party music for the later hours. No hiring a band or DJ and no obligating a friend to serve as music-player for the night. You could save thousands of dollars right here.

• Designate a room where kid guests can play with adult supervision. It could be your own rec room, it could be the backyard. If you designate an area and activities, the kids will be entertained. Hire official babysitters for the event if you wish.

• If it will be a hot day, turn on the air conditioning early to get the place cooled down. With many bodies in the room, it could turn sweltering in your house.

Security Issues:

• Just some friendly reminders that the safety and security of your most treasured possessions should be an issue for you. Sure, you know and trust your friends and family, but there will be hired help in the house. Strangers will be passing through. So for your own peace of mind, and to avoid breakage of your most valuable possessions, be sure to tuck any crystal figurines, breakables, and jewelry away in a home safe or other secure location just to be on the safe side.

• Also on the topic of being on the safe side, the issue of liability definitely comes into play when you’re holding an at-home wedding. We live in litigious times, so talk to your insurance provide about getting a special home event rider to your insurance plan. If a guest trips and falls on your steps, breaking a hip, you could be sued. Always take the extra precautions when it comes to your home insurance and liability packages – it’s money well spent and a must for At-Home weddings.

• Take the keys of inebriated guests. Call a cab. If they get into an accident on the way home, the liability could be yours.

• Call your town hall or police department to check on and apply for all the permits you’ll need. You may need permits for parking, especially on-the-record exemptions from some neighborhoods’ parking limits. For instance, in some towns, you’ll get a ticket for parking overnight if a car is by your curb after 2am. If your party will be extending (even quietly inside) to later hours, you want to take the pre-steps so that your guests don’t all get parking tickets. Just a quick visit to the police department for a permit would solve that problem. Also check on noise violations…if you live in a neighborhood where a 10pm quiet policy is in line, you can apply for an exemption – and then plan to avoid extra-loud band playing in the later hours to be courteous. Some couples report in that they had to get an okay from their neighborhood association for a late-night party – just an extra bit of legwork to prevent future problems.

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Sharon Naylor, author of 30 wedding books including THE COMPLETE OUTDOOR WEDDING PLANNER,
YOUR SPECIAL WEDDING VOWS and YOUR SPECIAL WEDDING TOASTS.