Sharon Naylor is the author of over 30 wedding books, including 1000 Best Secrets For Your Perfect Wedding, 1000 Best Wedding Bargains, Your Special Wedding Vows, Your Special Wedding Toasts, The Mother of the Bride Book, Mother of the Groom, The Groom's Guide, The Essential Guide to Wedding Etiquette, The Complete Outdoor Wedding Planner, and more. She has appeared as a wedding expert on Nightline, Lifetime, Inside Edition, ABC News, Fox 5 News, and on hundreds of radio stations nationally and internationally. Read more about Sharon Naylor here. Sharon is also happy to asnwer your wedding-related questions in her forum. For some grooms, the idea of a spotlight dance in front of 300 guests makes them break out into a cold sweat. They’re more nervous about slow dancing in front of everyone than they are about taking vows to love, cherish and honor til death do they part. So much attention, so much imagined scrutiny! Some men will do anything throughout their lives to avoid the dance floor. Slow dancing is just not their thing, and they have no discernable rhythm or style when it comes to movement. No matter how many times they watch the movie Hitch, they just can’t get it. And Dancing With the Stars? Some grooms watch in horror. They can’t even imagine….
But the moment of your first dance doesn’t have to be a terrifying one. All you have to do is make a plan.
1. Stop the ‘I can’t do it’ talk. Sure, you may have had no success until now, but you haven’t really taken the best steps towards success.
2. Find a great instructor. Search online or in your newspaper for dancing schools or academies that have been around forever. Most now offer private lessons for future brides and grooms, which is way more comfortable for some than a group class. It’s worth the investment. Classes don’t cost that much, and it often takes just a handful of lessons to get you moving well, and more confidently.
3. Find your style. It might be that swaying back and forth, moving in a slow circle by degrees, is boring to you. You might fear that it’s boring for everyone to watch, and that may be true! So your fear of the first dance could actually mean that you want something with a little more action. A tango, perhaps, with moves that are structured, one that can be choreographed by your instructor to have you leading but your bride doing the spins and twirls and fancy footwork that she excels at. We doubt you’d want to do a quickstep, which is a lot like speeding across the dance floor, but your instructor can easily assess the kinds of steps and moves you’re comfortable with to design a dance that’s perfect for you. Maybe you like the idea – and the humor of the style – for you to break out of that slowdance after the first few bars and into a tango, or to put a fedora on your head and stand there in style as your bride dances around you. This is your dance to plan!
4. Practice at home. Make dates with your bride to practice your moves at least five times before the reception.
5. Ask your bride to whisper