The formality of your wedding attire will probably depend on your bride’s choice of gown and time of day your ceremony takes place.  Luckily, there are no hard and fast rules you have to follow anymore, only guidelines.  And the most important I’d stress is, bride and groom’s look should be in simpatico.  This means if she’s in a formal gown and long veil, you the groom can’t show up in a casual linen suit without setting your unity as a couple off-balance.  Realize this day is symbolic; you’re creating the harmony you hope follows the rest of your life. 

    If you happen to like tradition and want to follow the rules to the letter, below you’ll find them outlined; on the other hand, if you wish to add a twist on those traditions to demonstrate your creativity or make a statement, go for it. 

    HIGH DRESS FORMAL - a/k/a ultra-formal.  Generally when the bride is in a formal gown with a long train and corresponding veil after 4PM, the groom is in white-tie/tails.  Think symphony conductor in full dress and you’ve nailed this look.  The overcoat is black and can be single or double breasted.  Shorter in front, it narrows down to two tails hanging to the knees in back.  Typically a white pique shirt and white vest are worn underneath with white bow tie.  White gloves and a pocket silk or boutonnière really complete your appearance.

    So what if you want to go white tie before 4PM?  As long as the bride’s gown is formal enough and you both feel better in full dress at noon, do it. 

    FORMAL - Time of day (11AM-4PM), location and size of the guest list usually distinguish this from the High Dress Formal wedding.  The bride wears a gown with a long train and the groom is usually in a tuxedo.  Single or double-breasted, the tux is worn for formal and semi-formal weddings with matching trousers that have a satin stripe running down the outside leg.  Under the jacket is a wing tip or spread collared shirt, vest or cummerbund and bow tie.  Contemporary versions with vests can be worn with necktie replacing bow tie.  

    An alternative to the tux is the traditional morning coat, once standard for formal daytime weddings.  To picture this look think Ascot.  You know those races in England with all the guys in top hats?  Like tails, this coat is short in front, tapering to a long split panel in back.  Can be in black, but gray is the traditional shade.  The coat is worn with corresponding gray or gray pinstripe trousers, a gray vest and white spread collared or wing-tip shirt, topped off with an ascot tie. 

    SEMI-FORMAL - Typically, the bride is still in a formal gown, only she dons a shorter train or ball gown sans the train.  This less traditional wedding gives you both the flexibility to tone down the formality of your attire.  Here you can go with a different shade or unconventional cut tux like a Nehru jacket.  During summer months, how about a white dinner jacket with black trousers, matching cummerbund and tie?  This is a great look at most West Coast or island weddings—compliments beachy/evening gown silhouettes so trendy now. 

    GROOMSMEN

    So who gets outfitted besides the groom?  Best man and ushers in a style and shade the groom picks out.  This can include fathers of bride and groom and in some cases grandfathers, who get ushered in and seated prior to the ceremony.  Do grandfathers and fathers suits have to match the groomsmen exactly?  No.  But if the wedding is formal they are customarily in formal dress.  Here are some more guidelines to keep in mind when outfitting your guys.  In the high dress formal wedding, ushers and best man’s attire matches exactly that of the groom right down to boutonnière and gloves.  This excludes the little guys.  Tradition dictates boy attendants belong in the bride’s party; usually they wear page costumes or Eaton Suits.  Formalwear Stores however do outfit ring bearers as small as size 3.  In the formal and semi-formal wedding, the groomsmen are still matched in attire but the groom can set himself apart by wearing a different color cummerbund, vest, tie, boutonnière, etc.  A more radical but acceptable variation would be if he’s in a morning suit, and puts the guys in tuxes.

    RENTING FORMALWEAR

    It’s never been easier.  Just point and click.   Since most formalwear rentals are connected to nationwide chains, this means you can go online to register and shop for the look you want right at your computer.  You enter your choice, click the store nearest you and they have all your information in their system within seconds.  Then whenever you’re ready, you go in and get measured.  Ideally you should do this 3-5 months before the wedding.  A couple days before the wedding is when you pick up your suit.  This is when minor alterations are taken if any are needed like pant legs taken up or jacket hem adjusted.  Groomsmen follow the same procedure.  But suppose your guys are scattered as far and wide as San Diego and Atlantic City?  Not a problem.  Since you’re probably dealing with a nationwide chain, they can go to the nearest store and have their measurements taken.  No store nearby?  Again, not a problem.  They just get themselves professionally measured and fax or email those measurements into the store.  A word here about taking measurements.  Have your groomsman find a professional tailor or pay a finer men’s store to do it.  Having a friend or relative do it is not okay.  Precision and experience is the key to fitting men’s wear. 

    When it comes to cost, be glad you’re a man.  Whereas a bride can shell out anywhere from $3-10,000.00 for a quality designer gown, her groom can rent a white-tie package for about a $150.00.  And that’s everything, including shoes and pocket silk.  Morning coat packages run a little less; tux packages as low as $79.00.  If you and your bride plan to ‘Put on the Ritz’ at future ‘Black Tie’ celebrations, consider purchasing.  Purchase price on a classic black tux from a formalwear dealer runs about $400.00 to $500.00.  Tonier haberdasheries start them around $700.00 and can go over $2000.00.  Below are a few formalwear resources to get you started.  Congratulations and best of luck!  

www.afterhours.com
www.selix.com
www.aftersix.com
www.menswearhouse.com