Bridesmaids, call it an ‘unofficial new role:’ giving the bride not just a surprise shower, but additional surprises as well. You know she’s enjoying planning her wedding – even when she gets a little bit stressed out – and she’s already overjoyed at getting to spend her future with the love of her life. You might think there’s nothing more that you can do to make her happy on a grand scale, so look to the little things. You can make her day with a small, thoughtful surprise like a little gift sent in the mail, or you can make her Big Day even better with an unforgettable in-the-moment surprise – like joining in with others to pay the travel expenses of a much-wished-for wedding guest she wasn’t expecting.

    We love it when bridesmaids take their roles to the next level by focusing on the bride’s joy level, so we’ve collected the top ideas on surprises you can plan for the bride on your own, or as a group.

    “We decided to help the bride celebrate her upcoming wedding, which was going to be on June 14th, by sending her a little something on the 14th of each month leading up to the wedding,” says one bridesmaid from San Diego, California. “On January 14th, we sent flowers. On February 14th, we sent her a journal. On March 14th, we sent a funny e-mail. On April 14th, we sent her a pedicure kit and fuzzy socks, knowing that she was getting really stressed out with the wedding plans and needed to pamper herself. And so on.”

   While you’re free to plan just one surprise, either in advance or on a whim, think about this clever best-friend-bridesmaid’s idea of making it a once-a-month surprise that the bride looks forward to. The bride mentioned above said, “It meant so much to me that my girls love me enough to send a little something each month. And I really needed that funny e-mail at the time. My future mother-in-law was starting to stress me out. So my bridesmaids really saved the day by making me laugh that morning.”

   A great surprise can be funny, or sentimental, sweet or pampering. When tailored to the bride’s personality and favorite things, it’s even better. And here’s an extra perk: everyone around the bride – including the groom, his family and his friends – get to know more about her terrific circle of friends and family, as well as how adored she is. The groom might even follow your lead and start planning surprises for her, too!

   Here are some top ideas to consider:

Sending a gift

• A fun tee shirt like a pink tee with a wedding-themed graphic or caption
• An inspiring caption tee shirt with her favorite quote on it
• Comfy pajamas with matching slippers
• Pedicure set with fuzzy socks
• Aromatherapy lotions for skin or for hands
• Aromatherapy bath oils or bath salts, with matching scent candles
• A gratitude journal
• A photo album
• Flowers

Sharing the memories – Remind her of your favorite times together with these new keepsakes:

• Photo albums featuring photos from your road trips or college days
• Music mix CDs featuring the songs that bring you back to your favorite memories, vacations, parties and funniest moments in your history together
• Framed photos of you as little girls, next to recent photos of you two now
• Still have your notes and poems from grade school? Make a fresh copy of each, and send them to her for a laugh. (Who was this Tommy you were so ga-ga over at summer camp? If you Google him now, you can send an update along with your notes and love poetry! “Tommy’s been in jail since high school” is a fun bit of closure on her single life.

Showing Up  -- If you don’t live nearby, see if you can show up for a weekend.

• Contact the groom to get the bride’s travel and work schedules, and ask for his help in scheduling some downtime for her, perhaps a faux plan to have dinner with his parents. And then you show up for a girls’ night out.
• On a bigger scale, surprise her with a girls’ weekend away. Again, have the groom (or a friend, or relative) block off a weekend in her schedule with a fake plan, and then you all meet her at the beach house or ski house, or at her place with tickets for the flight to St. Lucia. (If you’re going to an island or on a cruise, make sure the groom checks to be sure her passport is valid months beforehand!)
• Show up a few days before the wedding to help out with last-minute tasks such as making favors, or helping to clean her house before the wedding weekend.

Shower and Other Party Surprises

• Arrange the surprise arrival of a friend she didn’t think could attend
• Play video greeting from friends and relatives who couldn’t attend the shower or party…and get creative with them! Not just “Hi Sarah, have a great party!” but rather something with a theme. Consider this: You write out the Top 10 Wishes for the Bride and Groom’s Future, and have each video greeting feature a different person saying one of your wishes. Make it touching, make it funny. But the surprise is that they’re participating in the party even in their absence. She’ll love it.
• Ask her closest friends and family to write her personal notes of appreciation, and present them to her wrapped in a ribbon or set in a pretty gift box. She’ll read them later, on her own, so she can really enjoy them and let the tears flow.
• Play video from your younger years, but only if the footage is adorable, like her as a 7 year-old playing on the playground…not something from Spring Break.

On the Big Day -- Don’t make too many big surprise plans, as she may not want the flow of her day interrupted, or – even worse – your surprise to outshine her beautifully-planned wedding elements. Consider these fun surprises:

• Dedicate a song to her, for a girls’ only dance
• Propose a toast to her, from you or from the entire bridal party, and then wish both the bride and groom well (Never propose a toast only to one member of the couple! Bad form!)
• Let the bride and groom know what your wedding gift to them is. Right before the wedding, use their honeymoon registry (or have the groom help with the surprise if there is no honeymoon registry) to plan something very special on their honeymoon, like a swim with dolphins that you know she’s always wanted to do, or His and Hers massages on the beach, a champagne dinner on their terrace, or an adventure tour.

And finally, surprise the couple when they get home from their honeymoon by filling their house with fresh-cut flowers, or filling their refrigerator with fabulous meals and snacks…and a great bottle of wine. Set out their wedding photos that have come in while they were away, as well as any wedding video or DVD that’s arrived or that you’ve burned from your camera to DVD. Add a note and you’re all set, as the best bridesmaid anyone could wish for!

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Sharon Naylor is available to answer your wedding-related questions in her forum (click here).